After a long time, I'm back to blog briefly.
A lot has happened between my trip to Washington to now.
However I won't be blogging anymore for a while.
Just a heads up to all of those who read this blog.
God Bless.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Leave from the South, Arrive in the North
So, in less than a week the long awaited trip to Washington D.C. will be put into action. With most expenses taken care of I can breathe easy with the hopes of leaving and returning without any troubles (or stresses) and with only the promises of a memorable vacation. The climate is looking to be a bit more chilly than what I'm use to since Florida has already warmed up for the spring but I don't mind one bit. Gives me reason to break out my sweaters for just a little bit longer!
The camera is out, things are being packed and directions are being printed or saved. To top it all off, the blossoms have begun to bloom. Not many, but it's a start. ☺
In all of the excitement of the trip as well as my sister having her confirmation coming up in early May, I got a very exciting and unexpected surprise from my boyfriend. Yup, Michael popped the question to me and of course I said Yes!
It was last Friday after a long day of work we hit up Culhane's Irish Pub, had a nice dinner and a few Guinness and hit the beach. It was super windy and extremely foggy but it was still wonderful.
Naturally I'm quite excited and we are looking toward our future together. No date is set at the moment but a lot has to be worked out by us individually before we can start working together for ourselves. And yes, I've already started getting Bridal magazines to look at and ponder how to even being planning a wedding. ♥
A very small blog entry this time around but a longer post will be made after the trip! On a closing note, Help save the Bees!
The camera is out, things are being packed and directions are being printed or saved. To top it all off, the blossoms have begun to bloom. Not many, but it's a start. ☺
 |
| Credit the Photographer, David Coleman . |
For further updates on the Cherry Blossoms, or anything related to travel, I highly recommend following him.
In all of the excitement of the trip as well as my sister having her confirmation coming up in early May, I got a very exciting and unexpected surprise from my boyfriend. Yup, Michael popped the question to me and of course I said Yes!
It was last Friday after a long day of work we hit up Culhane's Irish Pub, had a nice dinner and a few Guinness and hit the beach. It was super windy and extremely foggy but it was still wonderful.
Naturally I'm quite excited and we are looking toward our future together. No date is set at the moment but a lot has to be worked out by us individually before we can start working together for ourselves. And yes, I've already started getting Bridal magazines to look at and ponder how to even being planning a wedding. ♥
A very small blog entry this time around but a longer post will be made after the trip! On a closing note, Help save the Bees!
( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Break Mirrors
For as long as I can remember I've been very self conscience in and on pretty much every I do and have done. More than Often, I find myself having anxiety attacks from my overworking mind.
But I'm sure everyone gets that. Generally when I wake up in the morning I enjoy some tea or coffee, shower, and get ready for the day. Some days I get up easily and snap into action, other days I have to drag myself out of bed to just turn on the coffee pot. In short, productivity vs. non.
Forcing myself to look for the good in myself and to take things in a more positive way is very hard. For instance, when I'm at work a customer will come in an approach me in a very appealing and polite way. Friendly, outgoing, humorous. Of course, I'm always happy to receive customers like that and it always puts me in a great mood, even boosting my confidence to know I've pleased just one person.
Then we have the rude, 'let's talk on the phone while we make this transaction ', un-humorous beings and I can just feel my positive mood being drained while they stand in front of me. Even while I help them smiling at that point is neither rewarding nor enjoyable. It just feels like my make up. And God help you if I choose not to wear any that day. And even then, I criticize myself the most.
It's true when we read and hear that we are our own biggest critics. I don't go a day without remarking on my own weight, my freckles, my teeth and nails. Most days I can't stand the sight of myself. I compare myself and ridicule myself far too harshly and its time I admitted to that. Because I hate it.
Now a days, I'm glued to Pintrest and Tumblr looking for DIY's of natural remedies for health to make me not only feel better on the outside, but on the inside as well. I've begun a dieting system with some help and assistance of course, with a little app called 'myfitnesspal', and it's really neat. :) Counting calories is easier than I thought and with the right diet, I don't feel like I'm starving myself. Even easier since I can document my workouts too.
So, with all of that to the side I'd like to share my resolution to my years of self resentment. Rather that putting others first, I'm putting the people that truly matter in my life first. My loved friends and family are priority. Over time, I found intimacy to be a nice thing. Nice, for the moment. If you let it cloud your mind and take over your thoughts, trouble will always brew. So, abstinence is key. It's just better that way. Mind, Body, and Spirit.
Being more open minded to just people in general without looking at someone and automatically having a negative judgment of them is what I've been notorious for. This is becoming more natural to assume the real situation of someone without prying too much (since its none of my concern) and with that being more friendly becomes second nature. Smiling feels genuine, and when I walk away I know I tried my best. Little by little my confidence grows and standing up to my own negative thoughts and feelings no longer feels like war. I can finally, wholeheartedly, admit I am defeating my inner turmoil.
When I look in the mirror, I remind myself I am worth it and not a lot of people and connect the the freckles on their skin with a marker and make their own constellations. Okay, maybe something less silly, but I remind myself I'm worth something. I think about all the people that matter and love me. Or maybe even just like me. And really, it has been helping. At night, I pray for everyone. Maybe this is a bit intimate to admit but even the ones who have hurt me or who have hurt my loves ones, I pray for them. Everyone deserves happiness, even if I don't personally agree. But being at peace with myself has probably been the most relieving and esteem building stepping stone I've built.
So, If you ever feel bad or feel like you're not worth anything or don't feel attractive, put the evil You in the mirror and tell it too take a hike. You don't need that in your life. If you don't take it from other people, why become your own enemy?
Life is full of mysteries, but abundant with opportunities.
Onto a more positive note! (Pun Intended)
So, even though it'd been a while since my last blog I did have another bad biting fit with my nails. But may I be so bold as to say it's been a few weeks since I've bitten them and my oh my, look who finally has acceptable nails! *points to self dramatically* I'm going to wait until they get to the length I want them at before I polish and post a picture but it'll be soon, I'm sure. ;)
In less than a month I'll be getting on the train and heading to Washington, D.C. and I must say I'm terribly excited. There will be so much to do and see in just three days but I'm certain the trip will be well spend and enjoyed. Many pictures will be taken and I'll be Instagram crazy that entire weekend. So, those of you on my Instagram, watch out. ;)
( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Thanks for reading!
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Nerd Week
Since my last post I've been battling a cold (which is finally almost over), as well as depression. The funny thing is I have no reason to be depressed. In short I believe it's just from a lot of positive changes that have come in my life and influenced me to do my best. It's almost overwhelming, the changes I mean. It's almost like I'm expecting something negative to happen but deep down I feel that isn't the case. Brushing off that dread each morning and getting up, looking in the mirror and reassuring myself that I will strive to be brave, to believe in myself, and to look for the good in every thing ..is hard. But I'm thankful that I can look to those closest to me for kindness and love. Each day I'm doing what makes me happy.
In the past week, my boyfriend and I began watching a new show called 'Noragami'. I have just a episode or two left of the first and only season, but I'm happy to say this is probably one of my favorite anime now. I feel it has a good plot and you get to see how the main characters develop in a steady pace. I really hope a season two comes out in the near future. It has its silly moments, but I highly recommend it.
To help avoid my negative thoughts, I've also started reading 'The Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis. I've read the book one other time and remembered enjoying it so much I figured it was a good time to refresh myself. Another recommendation if you haven't cracked it open. Definitely worth it. If you haven't read it, Don't expect something like Narnia.
Unfortunately also since having updated I've broken my resistance and have been failing to keep my nervous habits from happening. This is a lot more difficult than I thought and even after hours of trying different methods that I've looked up on Pintrest nothing seems to be working. I feel getting a set of nails done will help. But of course it would only be helping cosmetically. I'd rather be helping myself in health and having the cosmetic perks later as a reward. If you follow me on Pintrest you can see I love, love, love to post nail art. I've actually used my Mum and Sister, since they have nails, as examples of what little nail art I can accomplish. Nothing special about a flower or heart but it's fun to do and you can't get better if you don't try. If you are kind enough Reader I'd really appreciate if you had any tips on how I can stop biting my nails. Very gross habit, I know, But I'm ready to stop. I crave fabulous nails.
Aside from my growing addiction to playing 'Animal Crossing New Leaf', I've also plugged in my GameCube again this evening and began playing where I left off. An hour after first turning it on, wondering around lost and trying to remember why I was stuck, staring down in the game manual and getting frustrated, figuring out what I needed to do, having my boyfriend help me, and then going into a second stage of confusion and anger in the game (and some swearing) I remembered why I love this game. 'Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess' has got to be one of the most interesting and frustrating games I've played. Even thought I didn't grow up with a GameCube or not much of any Zelda games, I feel like I've really gotten to know the series. The game-play can be argued and nitpicked but I personally find it very enjoyable. It was nice getting the urge this evening to play it and getting a little bit further than where I was. I personally don't like cheats or anything, but some times they are necessary.
In the past week, my boyfriend and I began watching a new show called 'Noragami'. I have just a episode or two left of the first and only season, but I'm happy to say this is probably one of my favorite anime now. I feel it has a good plot and you get to see how the main characters develop in a steady pace. I really hope a season two comes out in the near future. It has its silly moments, but I highly recommend it.
To help avoid my negative thoughts, I've also started reading 'The Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis. I've read the book one other time and remembered enjoying it so much I figured it was a good time to refresh myself. Another recommendation if you haven't cracked it open. Definitely worth it. If you haven't read it, Don't expect something like Narnia.
Unfortunately also since having updated I've broken my resistance and have been failing to keep my nervous habits from happening. This is a lot more difficult than I thought and even after hours of trying different methods that I've looked up on Pintrest nothing seems to be working. I feel getting a set of nails done will help. But of course it would only be helping cosmetically. I'd rather be helping myself in health and having the cosmetic perks later as a reward. If you follow me on Pintrest you can see I love, love, love to post nail art. I've actually used my Mum and Sister, since they have nails, as examples of what little nail art I can accomplish. Nothing special about a flower or heart but it's fun to do and you can't get better if you don't try. If you are kind enough Reader I'd really appreciate if you had any tips on how I can stop biting my nails. Very gross habit, I know, But I'm ready to stop. I crave fabulous nails.
Aside from my growing addiction to playing 'Animal Crossing New Leaf', I've also plugged in my GameCube again this evening and began playing where I left off. An hour after first turning it on, wondering around lost and trying to remember why I was stuck, staring down in the game manual and getting frustrated, figuring out what I needed to do, having my boyfriend help me, and then going into a second stage of confusion and anger in the game (and some swearing) I remembered why I love this game. 'Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess' has got to be one of the most interesting and frustrating games I've played. Even thought I didn't grow up with a GameCube or not much of any Zelda games, I feel like I've really gotten to know the series. The game-play can be argued and nitpicked but I personally find it very enjoyable. It was nice getting the urge this evening to play it and getting a little bit further than where I was. I personally don't like cheats or anything, but some times they are necessary.
( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Thanks for reading!
Friday, January 16, 2015
North Carolina..! Almost
So, I had been looking forward to taking the train this evening to head up to North Carolina and see my friend for the weekend, only to turn around and get back on the train Monday and get back to town in time to go to work Tuesday morning. Alas, being the knuckle head that I am I got my days mixed up and had to cancel the trip. Luckily I'll be getting a refund on the tickets, which I have to say is a huge relief. Things happen, and even though I am very disappointed, as is my friend, I am glad I experienced this before the travels had even begun. I can't imagine getting lost or worse, missing an in-between train. So, needless to say a valuable lesson was certainly learned. Sadly I have not received (or offered) any contact with my friend since we hung up after the bad news last night.
I can't blame her. I'd be upset too. But things can always be rescheduled.
This weekend I can try and sort things out and try to start over again with my non-nail biting. I gave into the nasty habit once again because of the stress and before I knew it all of my growing progress was gone. And for what? I was certainly even more disappointed with myself but it only proved I have to work harder in resisting to urges. If I can't even resist biting my nails, what else can I fall victim to? Bad (and old) habits die very, very hard. So, Progression starts anew. Wish me luck!
A certain someones birthday is only a week away and really, it sneaked up on me! And now I'm scrabbling my brain for something to get him that he will certainly love. Thankfully, I have already purchased a little nifty thing so he can get his 'geek on'. I'm sure that, perhaps an outing and special dinner of his choice being all taken care of, will be suffice? In addition, we will be seeing his parents next Saturday. It'll be good to see his family again, and why not get some more bonding in? It couldn't hurt.
This weekend aside, I thankfully (for my next planned trip) won't be the one purchasing the train tickets and therefore I won't have to worry about a mistake like that! (God willing.)
Taking a positive light to all of this, at least now I can try and have a pleasant first experience in taking the train with someone I trust and it'll be more memorable. Yes, I'll be going with my boyfriend for three nights up to Washington, D.C. for the National Cherry Blossom Festival.
We have already found a location to where we will be staying, a general idea of what we will be doing the first day of arrival, some museums to visit while we are there, and even a Catholic church to attend mass! I have to say, I have more confidence with this trip since I have someone to help plan it with. What excites me the most though is the Fireworks event on Saturday! This will be a for sure plan and there will be a lot of pictures taken! Until then, I'll be saving as much as I can for it!
( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Thanks for reading!
I can't blame her. I'd be upset too. But things can always be rescheduled.
This weekend I can try and sort things out and try to start over again with my non-nail biting. I gave into the nasty habit once again because of the stress and before I knew it all of my growing progress was gone. And for what? I was certainly even more disappointed with myself but it only proved I have to work harder in resisting to urges. If I can't even resist biting my nails, what else can I fall victim to? Bad (and old) habits die very, very hard. So, Progression starts anew. Wish me luck!
A certain someones birthday is only a week away and really, it sneaked up on me! And now I'm scrabbling my brain for something to get him that he will certainly love. Thankfully, I have already purchased a little nifty thing so he can get his 'geek on'. I'm sure that, perhaps an outing and special dinner of his choice being all taken care of, will be suffice? In addition, we will be seeing his parents next Saturday. It'll be good to see his family again, and why not get some more bonding in? It couldn't hurt.
This weekend aside, I thankfully (for my next planned trip) won't be the one purchasing the train tickets and therefore I won't have to worry about a mistake like that! (God willing.)
Taking a positive light to all of this, at least now I can try and have a pleasant first experience in taking the train with someone I trust and it'll be more memorable. Yes, I'll be going with my boyfriend for three nights up to Washington, D.C. for the National Cherry Blossom Festival.
We have already found a location to where we will be staying, a general idea of what we will be doing the first day of arrival, some museums to visit while we are there, and even a Catholic church to attend mass! I have to say, I have more confidence with this trip since I have someone to help plan it with. What excites me the most though is the Fireworks event on Saturday! This will be a for sure plan and there will be a lot of pictures taken! Until then, I'll be saving as much as I can for it!
( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Starting Today!
Salutations Reader!
Here I am with another attempt to finally have a steady blog and to possibly share with others my thoughts and adventures of 2015. Even though it's not the first, it's still the beginning of the year to me. This blog will just be some personal views and stories, some reviews on things from video games to comics and manga to music (and food). Point is, the range of this blog will be vast. Later on I'll also be sharing about my travels, different festivities, and Special Olympic events with my sister. I am mainly writing this to help overcome my procrastination and start a good hobby so having some followers would help be a big inspiration.
So, to begin with I've taken it upon myself to get rid of a lot of the negative influences of my life.
I can already feel a positive difference in my daily routines and job performance. I am more friendly toward people, family, and myself. I don't have the overwhelming urge to lay on my bed in the dark and kills hours lost in thought staring at the ceiling. I feel I have many things to be blessed for in my life and keeping myself productive and happy seem to help. Sadly, there is a lot of evil in this world and it's very hard to get away from it. Instead of letting terrible things bother me I'm choosing to not to care about it. I can live in the world but I do not have to be of the world. It may not seem like a big thing but being someone with a lot of anxiety I have always had problems with relaxing. Especially when I've felt self conscience of something and let it eat away at my thoughts for the rest of the day(s). Eventually spoiling my mood (for days, depending). So, even though it proves to be more difficult some days, I'm slowly learning to over come a very bad habit.
Another bad habit I'm learning to over come is nail biting. As of today, I have gone without nail biting for eleven days. I have found what helps me most is if I polish, clean, and moisturize them each day to help the process seem more meaningful and hygienic. What would be the point of growing my nails if I never kept up with them and just let them get all nasty? The results are slow but I can definitely see a difference and the numbing feeling at the tips are obsolete. I know it's gross, but all good things come in time. Wish me luck to keep up my non-biting streak! I'll update about them again in about a week or two!
( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Thanks for reading!
Here I am with another attempt to finally have a steady blog and to possibly share with others my thoughts and adventures of 2015. Even though it's not the first, it's still the beginning of the year to me. This blog will just be some personal views and stories, some reviews on things from video games to comics and manga to music (and food). Point is, the range of this blog will be vast. Later on I'll also be sharing about my travels, different festivities, and Special Olympic events with my sister. I am mainly writing this to help overcome my procrastination and start a good hobby so having some followers would help be a big inspiration.
So, to begin with I've taken it upon myself to get rid of a lot of the negative influences of my life.
I can already feel a positive difference in my daily routines and job performance. I am more friendly toward people, family, and myself. I don't have the overwhelming urge to lay on my bed in the dark and kills hours lost in thought staring at the ceiling. I feel I have many things to be blessed for in my life and keeping myself productive and happy seem to help. Sadly, there is a lot of evil in this world and it's very hard to get away from it. Instead of letting terrible things bother me I'm choosing to not to care about it. I can live in the world but I do not have to be of the world. It may not seem like a big thing but being someone with a lot of anxiety I have always had problems with relaxing. Especially when I've felt self conscience of something and let it eat away at my thoughts for the rest of the day(s). Eventually spoiling my mood (for days, depending). So, even though it proves to be more difficult some days, I'm slowly learning to over come a very bad habit.
Another bad habit I'm learning to over come is nail biting. As of today, I have gone without nail biting for eleven days. I have found what helps me most is if I polish, clean, and moisturize them each day to help the process seem more meaningful and hygienic. What would be the point of growing my nails if I never kept up with them and just let them get all nasty? The results are slow but I can definitely see a difference and the numbing feeling at the tips are obsolete. I know it's gross, but all good things come in time. Wish me luck to keep up my non-biting streak! I'll update about them again in about a week or two!
( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Thanks for reading!
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